Starved Dreams
by LavenderIceCream
Summary: Two years ago, they'd been friends. She had laughed at all his jokes, he had saved her when she needed him the most. But that past shattered when Megumi challenged Souma, the first chair of the Elite Ten and now nicknamed as the king of Shokugeki, on the bet that one of them leaves Tootsuki. But what really hides behind this motive? Erina x Souma x Megumi. Possible ooc.
1. Chapter 1

"Did you hear…?"

"Yeah, I can't believe it… I mean, he's _first chair_ , of all things…"

"For that guy to lose is just... He's even been scouted by top chefs! Paris, Vienna, New York... but she's… she's just… "

Megumi winced as burning stares scorched her back. She gripped the notebooks against her chest tighter, the pages crackling. The trek to her next class, Introductory Food Packaging, was three buildings over and not a single second went by without rumors flying behind her back.

First year life was heaven compared to third year. Third year meant hell camp every day, every class, every hour and minute. Homework and classes were simply another ploy to drag students' grades down, another reason for expulsion. Every student was plagued with fear for the future, the vague title of "chef" seeming farther since their first day at Tootsuki. And the slew of pressure was beginning to take its toll on friendships. Megumi felt her chest tightened as she remembered how, just two days ago, Yuki had yelled at her for being too slow at feeding the chickens. Yuki, who never used to yell at her in anger.

But perhaps, Megumi mused darkly as she walked on, nothing was worse than what happened yesterday night.

Rather, the Shokugeki yesterday night.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I want to have a Shokugeki with you, Souma-kun."

He froze. The potato in his left hand dropped but thankfully the kitchen knife in his right managed to not, if only because of beaten habit. The golden eyes slid away from the frying pan and stared at Megumi wide-eyed.

"Wha- wha…"

"Souma-kun." She gripped the hems of her apron, but Megumi unflinchingly met Souma's eyes. "Will you accept it?"

Souma closed, opened, then closed again his mouth, for once flabbergasted. And yet… He narrowed his eyes into slits at the look in her eyes. Megumi felt fear slither down her back as something suddenly changed in the air.

After another brief moment of silence, "... Fine. What are we betting."

Megumi bit her lip. She closed her eyes, and for a split second, realized the true significance of what she was about to do. _But I have to… Even if it crushes his dream._ " I want you to leave this school if I win."

The sizzle of the vegetables in the pan, the low thrum of the ventilator, and the creak of the floorboards above abruptly vanished and Souma couldn't hear a thing. Only the throb of his heartbeat broke through and rushed in his ears.

Megumi continued, and he could barely hear her say, "In return, if I lose, then I will forget everything I saw yesterday and leave this school." She turned around and yanked off her apron.

Souma finally managed to utter, "W-wait a second, why-"

But the words dissipated from the tip of his tongue like the lightest souffles as she glanced behind at him. His heart nearly stopped as she gave him an expression. One that should have never been on Tadokoro Megumi, who was sweet like amber, glistening caramel poured on candied apples. But now… that caramel was burnt, bitter, the apple rotten and black.

Megumi said flatly, "This is the most convenient for both you and Nakiri-san. How could there be something you wouldn't want."

 _She knows… Tadokoro really did see us yesterday._ "... But I'd never want for you to be expelled!" Souma retorted.

"Well, is there any other way for you two's secret to be kept?"

"I'm sure there's some other-"

" _I_ think it's a good plan."

Megumi and Souma spun around as Erina swept into the kitchen. _What is she doing here?! It's the middle of the night!_ thought Souma, his palms already becoming clammy. _I don't know how to even talk normally to her now; this is the worst timing._

"I think this Shokugeki is a good idea. And after all, cooking speaks louder than words. It can be done theoretically as well," Erina added. She casually ignored Souma.

Megumi nodded curtly. "Then shall we?"

"Wait, you don't have my consent yet!" Souma yelled, eyes flashing. "I'll never agree to this Shokugeki if-!"

"Souma-kun," Megumi cut in. Her eyes locked with his. "If you really intend to open the number one restaurant in Japan after graduating… if you really have that ambition, then this school's just a 'stepping stone' isn't it? Well then everyone here at Tootsuki is a stepping stone."

"But _you_ 're not a stepping stone! Since when?!"

Megumi froze and Erina stiffened. Souma paused, but Megumi didn't respond. He waited another second before breathing a sigh of relief, even breaking into a smile. "Geez Tadokoro, stop scaring me, why'd you ever think that I would treat you like a stepping stone? I mean-"

"Stop it."

Souma flinched as Megumi whipped around, fury snapping in her eyes. "Stop it," she whispered. "Just stop it. I'm serious about this. I want you to leave Tootsuki because I never want to see your face again."

A thick silence settled in the room. Erina fidgeted, eyes darting between the two uneasily as they glared at each other.

At last, Souma took a deep breath and exhaled, his eyes closed. When he finally opened them, the yellow eyes had a chilling look instilled in them.

"Then let's go. Right now."

It was past midnight when the Shokugeki started, but this was no rare phenomenon at Tootsuki Academy. The word had spread like a wildfire, as it had been months since Souma of the Shokugeki had last taken a challenge, and the stadium was relatively packed.

"The theme for this match will be… desserts!" announced Mr. Chapelle. "The judges will be myself, former first chair and now alumni Eishi Tsukasa, and the editor-in-chief of the food magazine, _Food_ , Akaishi Kurumi."

"Now then, with a time limit of two hours… contestants, you may begin!"

Megumi slapped her cheeks, shook off her drowsiness, and went straight to her icebox. _Something light, something light..._ She blinked. _Oh wait a second, I know…_

Souma watched as she dug around her ice box before he turned back to his own side of the kitchen. _I need to make something… something that can counteract what Tadokoro would make. What would she make? I mean, I know her pretty well-_ His eyes darkened. _Or I thought I did._ He stared at his own, rather messy/ extremely messy ice box.

Two hours came and went.

"And the first to finish is Tadokoro Megumi! What has she cooked?"

Megumi took a deep breath and stepped forward. She placed her dishes before the judges.

"Hmm… would this be a souffle?" Tsukasa inquired. Megumi nodded. "It looks… a bit… plain," he said. The puffed outer layers showed no signs of tampering, expect perhaps a glaze.

"Well, might as well eat it then…" Mr. Chapelle poked it with a spoon and daintily took a bite. The other two did the same.

"Ah, this taste," Tsukasa mumbled, the faint-stormy gray eyes warming ever so slightly. "Interesting; a carrot souffle. Carrots in souffle usually tend to be more of the savory, lunch appetizer kind of thing but this remains like a dessert. Like carrot cake, except infinitely lighter."

Megumi nodded. "Yes, the base is from carrots picked at the Polar Star Dormitory just this morning. I happened to have a good deal with me since I helped picked them."

Mr. Chapelle paused before nodding slowly. "No wonder. Such a nostalgic flavor… This taste has all the sunshine soaked from the summer sun and reminds one of a carefree afternoon day. A faint bitterness adds a hint of maturity, an adult looking back on hycalion days. Is this bitterness…?"

"Chamomile," Megumi replied. "It's mild and… helps restlessness." She gave the judges a rather pointed look.

Akaishi Kurumi smiled. "Chamomile, is it. And these other spices… a strong spiciness from ginger, cinnamon… cardamom too, gives the dish a warmth that blankets your body. The freshness from the carrots sweeps across these tastes and all of the flavors mingle into a comforting and heart-warming dish. Light yet savory, and taking into account the judges too."

In a matter of seconds, each judge polished off the souffle and the plate was left crumb-less.

"And now for Yukihira Souma's dish!" an announcer said.

The crowd began stirring in anticipation.

"I wonder what he cooked? Dang, what _does_ first chair cook?"

"He always makes really weird dishes; I wonder if we'll see that today?"

"It's been a year already since his last Shokugeki; maybe it'll be different?"

"Yeah, well, he'll still win anyway."

Souma stepped forward, and placed his plates.

"This is my dish-"

Tsukasa abruptly stood, his chair toppling behind him. Souma froze, as did the entire stadium. No one spoke. Nothing moved. It was dead silent.

"E-Eishi-san, what-"

Mr. Chapelle had barely spoken when Tsukasa wordlessly righted his chair and sat back down again.

Souma felt, for the first time in a long time, a knot of nervousness clench his stomach. _I can't leave this school, I have to stay or else..._

"W… well, the appearance appears top-notch," Akaishi said uncertainly, shooting Tsukasa a look. "This fruit tart's crust is burnt to perfection, golden brown. The dome shape of the compiled chocolate and… caramel? dipped strawberries is stunning."

"Yes, each ingredient is given utmost care," Mr. Chapelle agreed. The two judges cautiously turned to Tsukasa for his commentary, but he only stared at the tart.

"Well then, shall we take a bite?"

The stadium remained unnaturally silent except for the sliding of the forks on the plates. But only for an instance.

Mr. Chapelle placed his fork down, as did Akaishi, after the first bite. Tsukasa hadn't even taken up his fork.

Mr. Chapelle turned to Tsukasa.

"I see," was all he said. Tsukasa nodded.

The judges glanced at one another again and nodded once more. The audience murmured in hushed whispers.

Souma and Tadokoro looked up at the scoreboard, but it didn't take a genius to know what the judges' responses were.

 _3-0. Tadokoro Megumi._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Megumi shook her head vigorously, the blue tresses flopping around her face. _This was for the best, this was for the best, this was for the best_. She clenched her fists as she continued down the hallway. _If I didn't do that, if Souma-kun had stayed, it would've become even worse._

"Tadokoro Megumi, you have my gratitude."

Megumi paused and looked up. Erina crossed her arms as she stood in front of Megumi. "With this, everything will work out."

"U-um, are you sure you should be saying that kind of thing here…?" Megumi asked hesitatingly, growing more and more apprehensive as students began peering over to see what was happening.

"Hm? Whatever are you talking about? I'm talking about how glad I am now that Yukihira Souma is gone and out of this school."

Megumi felt a chill run down her spine as Erina flipped her hair nonchalantly. "W-well, I guess it is good for Souma-"

Erina laughed and waved it away. "That's the least of _my_ troubles. Thanks to you, I can now ascend to first chair without any obstacles. I mean, for 'Yukihira-kun's sake?' As if. Again," she said, a cold smile freezing across her face. "This school is simply a stepping stone. I'll agree with Yukihira-kun on just this. Well then, I must go-"

"So that was all a lie."

Souma stood behind the two girls. By now, a small crowd was forming around the three.

Tadokoro narrowed her eyes. "I'm sorry, I have class." She brushed pushed past Souma and broke through the crowd, walking away almost too quickly away.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Erina asked neutrally, eyes following the girl until she rounded the corner.

"No. Why should I?" Souma replied, just as neutrally. "I have a more pressing issue right now. We need to talk, Nakiri."

* * *

A/N: Hey, thank you for reading this fanfic! I'm thinking of finishing this entire plot up in less than ten chapters, but I hope it'll be a good read all the way to the end. :) Also, rather late, but I have almost no experience cooking so I'm really sorry that the Shokugeki part turned out boring to read... (Although there is a reason why no one responded to Souma in the plot.)

Thank you again for taking the time to read this!

~LavenderIceCream


	2. Chapter 2

(reviews addressed at bottom along with AN)

 _Shafts of afternoon sunlight filtered into the library, dust drifting and catching the light like fairy dust. She swung her small feet from the her huge chair as she flipped to the next page. The only sound amongst the labyrinth of hundred and hundred of cuisine books was the scrit-scrat of her pencil. Eyes glued to the medical reference book, the girl absentmindedly brushed a stray of magenta hair behind her ear._

"' _You need to balance the_ qi _,_ Yin-Yang, _and body fluids.' Okaaay… Ack!"_ _A sharp gust of wind blew through the windows and the pages flipped ahead in a flutter of paper, her own page becoming lost. Hisako leapt out of her chair. "I'll be in so much trouble if the books here get damaged," she mumbled as she clambered onto a shelf and shut the windows._

 _Hisako hopped back onto her chair. As she flipped back the pages to find her own page, she briefly wondered what the girls who invited her to see the new crepe shop were doing. "I want to eat crepe… I want to go shopping with friends..." A twinge of bitterness welled within her, and she gripped her pencil, knuckles white. But as Hisako finally found her page and carefully straightened it, she shook her head vigorously._

" _But I don't need anyone, anything, other than Erina-sama."_

 _And the girl continued her notes._

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Here's an empty room." Erina flicked out a set of keys and unlocked the door. She turned on the lights to the kitchen and Souma followed her.

She turned around and folded her arms over her chest. "And? What do you want?" A haughty smile floated over her expression. "Do you need a piece of sensibility?"

"No, actually I have that," Souma deadpanned. "Anyway, I wanted to know if what you said back there was true." His eyes gazed at her searchingly, making Erina feel uncomfortable.

"Of course it's true. Why would I want you to stay at this school?" She managed to laugh. "You, with commoner-skills, cheap tricks, and complete unsophistication? As if. I just never want to see you again. Not to mention, it's always been a mistake for you to be first chair over me."

"That's what I thought you thought of me… " Souma gave her a pointed look.

"...What."

"You know _what_ , Nakiri. Yesterday? Today? What's up with you, you're acting different."

 _Damn it, he's going to bring that up._ "I-I have no idea what you're talking about." Erina swallowed with some difficulty, her smirk wavering. "What do you mean by yesterday, nothing… nothing happened yesterday." She whipped around and stepped towards the door. "And if that's all you have to say to me-"

The words stuck in her throat as a hand grabbed her wrist. Her own hand drooped from the grasp. Heat began crawling up her neck in thrills of prickles.

"W-w-what are you doing, Yukihira-kun? Let me go."

"No," he replied simply. "I'm not going to let go of your hand again. Seriously, what's wrong?"

Erina sucked in a breath as a flood of emotion nearly broke through, like a dam about to burst and explode with a touch of a finger. Her throat was twisting and burning, chockful with coal, and she felt as though she was balanced on the tip of a needle. To fall or to not.

To remain upon the pinnacle or to not remain upon the pinnacle.

"Nothing!" Erina snapped her hand away and whirled around, eyes flashing. "You could never, no, you'll never understand! Stay away from me, imbecile!" She stormed out, slamming the door behind her without bothering to lock it.

 _I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!_ Erina bit her nails furiously, nearly tearing one apart. _Weak, just weak, what am I doing?! No, this is not the time, oh but I hate him! HATE. HIM. Arrrgh, I need to talk to Hisako about this-_

Erina stopped mid-stomp. A woosh of energy winded out of her, and the clenched fists at her side relaxed.

 _Hisako… Hisako…_

Erina's shoulders slumped unconsciously, and a coldness began to freeze through her chest. She leaned against the wall, exhaustion scrambling back on her shoulders all over again. _I… I need to catch myself. For a moment. Then I'll do the work I have left. At least afternoon classes have already started and no one's in the hallway yet-_

"Erina? What are you doing?"

Erina snapped upright, eyes wild and some excuse, any excuse, on the tip of her tongue, before she recognized who it was.

 _Oh, it's just her._ "...N-Nothing to bother yourself about, Alice," Erina huffed, giving her cousin a wary look over. "Rather, why aren't you in class."

The other girl shrugged. "I know everything anyway, why should I go? Right, Ryo?" Alice turned up to her langley attendant.

"Hmm? Yeah, sure," he said absentmindedly.

Alice pouted. "Hey, can't you give me some more energy? You're responding to your master y'know!"

"Eh? But you were the one who wanted me to be the… what's it… the 'cool and silent' type."

"Er… W-well, things change!"

Ryo sighed, but made as much effort in being energetic as he would in levitating potatoes.

Alice made a final pout before turning back around. "Hmph. Anyway…" Alice leaned forward, eyes narrowing as she scrutinized Erina, who took a step back.

"What? Is there something wrong with me?" _Why's everyone looking at me like that today?_

"Um, maybe the bags under your eyes?" Alice pointed out.

"Again, it's nothing to bother yourself over." Erina waved her hand off, although she inwardly thought, _Since when did I have bags?_ "Sorry, I can't waste any more time on you today, I have work to do."

Before Alice could say another word, Erina walked off briskly. Alice sighed and placed her hands on her hips.

"Is something the matter, Ojou?" Ryo asked.

"Hmm? Yes, I suppose. It's just that I've never seen Erina look that tired."

Alice and Ryo began walking down the opposite direction and Alice continued to think out loud.

"I mean, usually she's more chipper in her verbal abuse to me but today she kinda just… Oh, what's the word… Give me the word, Ryo."

"Dismissive?"

"Ah yes, dismissive, yes. Today Erina's been so dismissive towards me... Hmm?" Alice paused. She held a finger up to her lips.

Ryo blinked. "What is it?"

"...Ojou?" He prodded again, but then stopped when she looked up. Alarm flickered in her eyes and Ryo stiffened.

"Where's Hisako. She'd never let Erina fall into that state. She's never let it happen. Where is she."

"... Well, maybe she's sick or something."

"... Maybe…" Alice replied, still unconvinced. She shook her head, and the two began walking again.

The bell rang, and students began swarming out of the classrooms. Loud chattering filled the broad hallway. Alice tread behind Ryo as he navigated through the crowd.

"But there's no reason why… why would he bother using Hisako like that?... She's helpful, talented… must be sick… would be a waste of talent," Alice murmured.

"Tadokoro," Ryo said suddenly.

Alice glanced up, but Ryo hadn't turned around. "Huh? I don't think I heard you correctly over this crowd-"

"Tadokoro. Tadokoro Megumi."

The two managed to escape the worst of the crowd and Ryo slowed down so Alice could walk beside him.

"Tadokoro Megumi? What about her?" When Ryo didn't respond, Alice gave him another confused look.

"Ryou- Wait a second." Alice's eyes suddenly lit up with glee, and Ryo knew what was coming. He felt one, and only one, word: Dread.

"Eeeeeeeeh, are you _interested_ in her Ryo?! Oh my god, this is great, I knew there was something going on during the Autumn Elections but to think it was _that_. Ryo, in _love_?! This is brilliant, I ship it, this is-"

"No, I'm just saying that Tadokoro is a waste of talent."

Alice stopped her huzzahs and hallelujahs. "Oh, is that so," she said dejectedly. "Hmm, I could've supported you two… But wait, waste of talent? What do you mean?" She stopped walking but Ryo continued on, rolling the black and white balls in his hand. The pair of scarlet eyes narrowed into slits.

"... Ryo, you didn't do something unnecessary did you." Ryo paused at the abrupt change in her tone. It was her cold tone.

Her real tone.

"... No. I just compared my cooking with her's a few weeks ago. Asked her to cook for me."

Alice didn't respond but her raised eyebrows said _And?_ Ryo sighed.

"Her cooking was good. My cooking was good. Everything was good," he replied blandly.

Alice gave another long, long look, and Ryo met her eyes steadily, revealing absolutely nothing. Finally, Alice shrugged.

"Well, if all's good then I guess it's just… good. I suppose. But do tell me these things. And hey, don't walk ahead of your master!" Alice ran up to where Ryo stood waiting, and the two continued their daily trapeze around school grounds, if not with a hint of unease.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Souma cocked his head to the side, staring at the slammed door and trying to wrap his head around the situation. _I mean, did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong?_ he wondered, oblivious.

o0o0o0o0o0o

The final bell rang, and the last class ended. Megumi covertly glanced up and down the hallway, before cautiously stepping out. Her ears burned as students gave her strange looks. _What am I doing…_ she thought, embarrassment spreading all the way to the roots of her hair. She clutched her notebooks. _But I don't want Yuki-chan or Ryoko-chan to see me, and especially not Souma-kun. Not when I don't know what to say to any of the guys at Polar Star Dormitory…_ A swarthy cloud meshed her heart as she trod slowly, almost dragging her feet and even bumping into several (pissed off) students.

Megumi paused and glanced out the huge arching windows. The September, almost October, sky was spread with clouds aligned like the scales of a monster fish. Tootsuki's forests carpeted the entire land below with only a few buildings and dorms to be seen from this side of the school. Megumi could barely spot her own, dear, Polar Star Dormitory enmeshed among the slowly reddening trees.

 _Can I go back? Do I have the right after I expelled Souma-kun…_

* * *

A/N: Hullo, LavenderIceCream here. Here be chapter 2!This story is not, by all means, going to have scheduled updates. Just a warning! Also, I apologize for OoC-ness and any confusion (my sad attempts at suspense ). But I would like it for reviews to tell me how they would like me to change the story/ clarify it, as then I can improve. Finally, there's going to be a good amount of POV-switching and a LOT of flashbacks. I know this is exemplar of bad writing, but the plot kinda fell away to this format… Sorry. I'll try to be clear in my writing.

Thank you for reading!

And here is to address the reviews:

dotJOKL: I'm really sorry that I didn't capture all of Souma's persona. I figured that I might change him after 3 years, but I might be pushing the limits too far with how i write him (and all the characters in fact). I thought of reasons as to their change in characters to be later revealed in the story, but I do hope that they'll be acceptable and logical. Hopefully I won't screw things over? (cue nervous laughter)

Well, for the Shokugeki part, I apologize that I didn't really take into the actual rules that much and kinda glossed them over. I didn't think that it would be that difficult to find someone for the official witness. But I'm confused as what you mean by the stakes given after the Shokugeki. Megumi and Souma do talk before the Shokugeki what they're "betting" on, but aren't those the "stakes"? And Souma accepting a challenge wouldn't be that much of an issue (yeah, more glossing over) since he did feel frustration at not being able to do Shokugeki's against people so perhaps he feels sympathy.

But thanks for actually taking interest in the fanfic and writing such a comprehensive review. I hope I won't mess everything up and it ends up readable.

Demon Damian: Haha, I tried to write in some suspense (hopefully I can make it work). You may or may not be disappointed in the end pairing (it's all quite vague, and somewhat undecided), but hey, thanks for reading it and reviewing!

Guest: I'll try to clarify, but I guess the suspense isn't working so much as it's confusing… I'll try to write more clearly in the future.

VitaSen: Lol, that analogy. XD Thank you lovely person.

jminator: I'm glad you like it! I'll try to write as best as I can.

epiccface: Thanks! I'm only really good with random plots so I'm glad you liked it.

somebody: Hope you liked this chapter…? But if not, then feel free to drop it.

hate it: Okay. But I'd appreciate it if you told me what part I should change. Thanks. Also, feel free to drop it but I'd like it if you don't spam me.

Zenith Relaxation: Thanks! Well, it's technically not AU I think, but it's a bit like timeskip? 2 years. Sorry, I'll try to keep her from being so OoC.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to review. :) See you all some time~


	3. Chapter 3

(A/N and replies to comments below as always. Thanks for reading!)

* * *

 _Awawawa, I really ended up here…_

A harsh slap of wind snapped Megumi's braids. She reached in her pocket and drew a slip of paper. She checked the brass plate on the door. _Yup, this is the Virgo Dormitory._ Megumi looked back up at the building. And down at the paper. And back up again.

She sighed.

Placed not far from the main school, the dorm was about as small as a football stadium.

Megumi could still hardly believe her eyes. Alabaster pillars, engraved with open-mawed lions, towered over the door and the marble balconies gleamed like polished porcelain. The three-tiered fountain splish-splashed behind her, and aqua reflections shimmered in the polished granite. A heavy fog of rose permeated the night air, almost making Megumi dizzy.

 _Th-this… Maybe, maybe I should go back…_ Megumi stared at the brass door knob, her reflection distorted around it. _I mean, it's… well… I don't belong here..._

 _But..._ Megumi paced before the door, as she had for the past thirty minutes. _But… But, but…_ She groaned and crouched down, placing her head on her crossed arms. _What do I do… What can I do..._

It took three times before Megumi finally snapped out of her thoughts.

"Tadokoro Megumi!"

Megumi flinched and stared up.

Houjo stood before her in an indigo cheongsam adorned with chrysanthemums. Her hands were on her hips as she gave Megumi a wary look. "Why are you here." Her eyes burned into Megumi's crinkled and dirtied uniform, but the lack of comment on it only made Megumi cringe further.

"I… " Megumi averted her eyes and mumbled something.

"What?! Speak up!" Houjo barked.

"IwantedtoknowifIcouldpossiblystayhereatthisdormbutofcourseyou'renotbligatedtoIcanstayintheforest," Megumi blurted in a splurge of words and looked up. Megumi willed herself to stop, but the exhaustion was leeching her will power away, and fat tears beaded down her cheeks. Her mind blurred like the edges of a mirage, and there was no power on earth that could've stopped those tears. Feet sliding away, Megumi sank to the ground full-out sobbing.

Houjo yelped and snatched out a handkerchief. She knelt down and began rubbing the tears and snot frantically. "Uh, er, it's okay? Yeah? Uh, you can stay I guess?" Houjo awkwardly yanked Megumi onto her feet, kicked open the door, and wheeled her inside.

Megumi could hardly see a thing beyond the bright blurs in her vision, but she blindly stumbled up a spiral staircase and somehow ended up sitting in the middle of bland and austere room.

"Stop hyperventilating," Houjo ordered, and Megumi realized how shallow she was breathing. She took a staggered breath, and managed to slow her heart down. Her shoulders gradually stopped heaving.

"Calm now?" Megumi looked up to see Houjo with a forced smile that was scarier than reassuring.

"Y… yes… " Megumi mumbled. "I-I'm sorry I cried... and troubled you." She unsteadily tottered to her feet. "I'll leave right now-"

"No, stay!" Houjo pushed Megumi back down. Megumi blinked in surprise. "You can stay here. It'll be good." Houjo nodded, almost to herself. "It'll be good."

"O-oh, um, are you sure… ?"

"Yes, do stay. I did promise that I'd help you when I could. Here, you can borrow some of my clothes (at this Houjo grabbed some articles of clothings), take a shower, and stay for however long as you'd like. I'll make you tea, so go take a shower. It's the room at the far end." Houjo practically leapt out of the room in haste.

 _What caused her to change her opinion so quickly…?_ Megumi wondered in a haze.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"What?! Megumi left?!" Yuki shrieked. She slammed down the kitchen table, and the bowl of fruit jumped. "I can't- Why?! Why would she- Where?! What? Wh-... what?" Yuki gave Ryoko a helpless look, words stuck in her mouth.

Ryoko shook her head gently, and Yuki's eyes began tearing up. She began blubbering, "I knew I was being unfair when I yelled at her, she didn't do anything wrong, just gave the chickens a bit more wheat, but… but!" Yuki wailed and hurled herself into Ryoko's arms.

Souma picked up the torn piece of paper. "She does say that she'll be staying somewhere, and to not worry for her," he said slowly.

"Your eyes don't look convinced," piqued Ibusaki. He continued picking his nails, a nervous habit he hadn't picked up in years.

Souma narrowed his eyes dangerously, but before he could say anything, Ryoko called, "Don't you two get into an argument now." Yuki managed to calm down a bit, and blew her nose. "Yeah," she agreed with a nasal wheeze.

Marui pushed the glasses up his nose. "Hmm, first thing first… does anyone know where she could've gone? I mean, she must've had a plan if she wrote that she would be staying somewhere..."

Yuki and Ryoko exchanged an uncertain look. "Well," Ryoko began slowly, "Megumi… isn't… "

"We don't know anyone she could've asked for something like this," Yuki said in a large breath of air. Just that seemed to suck the energy from her. Ryoko rubbed her back comfortingly.

"But perhaps…" Ryoko shot a look at Souma. "Megumi felt guilty about… yesterday."

Silence ensued among the dorm members. Ryoko and Yuki averted their eyes, Ibusaki picked his nails, and Marui occupied himself with wiping his glasses. Souma slumped. _But she still never told me why she doesn't me want to be at Tootsuki_ , he thought glumly. _I'm leaving in three days… What if everything just ends like this._

 _How much do I really know Tadokoro?_

Finally, Ibusaki sighed. He dropped his hands. "Maybe we'll just have to wait until school tomorrow and find her during class."

Yuki jumped. "But, what if she doesn't actually have a place to stay?! What if she's out there in the forest with bears and wolves and coyotes?" She glared at Ibusaki. "How could you not feel any worry for your fellow dorm mate?"

Ibusaki stiffened. "I never said that I didn't care. I'm just saying that if she left the dorm out of her free will, then she should take responsibility for it," he said bluntly. "And if we're done, I'm going to sleep." He turned around and began climbing up the stairs.

Yuki opened her mouth, but Ryoko held out an arm. Yuki gave her an incredulous look.

"Ryoko, not you too!"

Ryoko shook her head. "Ibusaki-kun's right. For now, all we can do is to trust Megumi and respect her decision."

"B-but…."

"Yuki." Ryoko looked straight into her eyes. "Don't let your guilt cloud your action. This wasn't all your fault; maybe... maybe Megumi just wanted to have her own space. Away… from this dorm."

Hurt flared across Yuki's eyes until she saw the same look reflected in Ryoko's eyes.

Yuki gave a curt nod, and the two, along with Marui, went upstairs to their respective rooms.

Souma remained downstairs. In the dimmed room, shadows were cast about his face but none were darker than those in his eyes. _What would Ishiki-sempai say if he was still at the Polar Star Dormitory now?_ Souma thought. He absently traced the grooves of the table, swirling like a starry sky. _He'd probably be saddened…_

 _If I hadn't met with Nakiri yesterday, would this have been prevented?_

o0o0o0o0o0o

Her room was devoid except for a couple of cardboard boxes and a worn suitcase. A retro camera peeked from her backpack, an old present from her parents who worried about their rather anti-social daughter. Hisako stared at her room. _I guess I'll be seeing them soon at the Arata mansion… though not in the way I wanted to._

Hisako opened her wardrobe. It was sad and empty, the opposite wall as white as a bone picked clean. She sighed and almost left but paused. She narrowed her eyes, staring at the dark space on the top shelf before they snapped wide open.

It took Hisako ten whole minutes, but when she finally managed to reach over into the top shelf, her fingertips grazed something smooth that wasn't the wood of her closet. _I knew I put something here!_ she thought triumphantly, curiosity and anticipation sending shivers up her spine. Hisako snatched it up, and stared at it. Her smile faded as she realized what it was.

The first and only photo she had ever taken, along with a series of scrawled words at the bottom right corner, lay in her hands. Hisako felt her throat parched like she'd swallowed a net of sand, but managed to blow a shaky breath over the photo. Dust spiraled off, but Hisako knew that blowing it off was unnecessary.

The photo was as blank white as she had remembered it, even scorched in her memory, along with the black words:

 _child abuse (n): mistreatment of a child by a parent or guardian_.

* * *

A/N: Hello! I finished my exam yesterday (woo, until the results come out lol), and I've finished up this chapter. Is it confusing the way I ended it? I hope it's not… Still just me trying my best with suspense but I guess it's more just confusion. Anyway, hey, thanks for reading this chapter! I probably won't have too much time for updates to be weekly, but I'll try to update when I can. Also I'm sorry if this chapter is shorter than usual.

Thanks for reading this chapter!

Here's to the reviews:

kisnei: I'm so glad that it's actually suspenseful (and not just fail confusion ahaha…) and that you like it! Thanks!

jonathans9356: I'm sorry I couldn't write it in a way that was convincing…

Hypocrisy: Hellooo! Ehehe, you'll know if I've moved into the SouEri ship for good (though I did ship it in the start of the series, to be fair) but I'm not super into it. Thank you so much! I'll keep trying to write as I write!

Demon Damian: can't promise you 100%, but hopefuly? Maybe? Haha, but I know for sure that I won't throw off SouEri whatsoever. I'll try to incorporate it and balance it out with the other ship. :)

Susanna: Thank you so much! I'll try to update when I can.

Mr. M: No thank you for taking the time to review! Yeah, it really does sound unconvincing and I wasn't able to write it in a way that would… I'm sorry for jumping that on you. But thanks for having at least tried to read it. :)

epiccface: Haha, thank youuuuuuuu. I'll try to update whenever I can without lowering quality.

Blue-Daylight: Heehee, I'm intent on finishing this series so no worries on that front. Haha, I'm glad that the suspense seems to be working? Thank you so much for your kind compliments and encouragement. :)  
Kaleidoscopic Dragon: Hello! I'm really sorry if I'm going at too fast a pace, I'll try to slow it down and develop it more so that it's more logical. Well, I guess you can ship either SouEri or SouMegu? Or SouMeguEri? It's really up to you, I guess haha. Thank you so much for reviewing. :)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N and review responses at bottom; so so sorry for the long wait!

* * *

Megumi huddled in the bathtub, the water now lukewarm. She stared listlessly at her knees, prodding out of the water like barren islands. Every once in awhile, she had to pinch her arm to remind herself that she wasn't in the Polar Star dormitory, that it wasn't all some strange dream.

"I… can't believe I left so recklessly, leaving just a note on the countertop," she mumbled as she slid deeper into the water. Eyes dipping beneath the surface, the clear vision of the tile walls slipped into a blurry mirage. _After all those stupid bold things I said, now I run out of the dorm and come to bother others?_ Megumi thought miserably. Her eyes squinted shut as the water burned into them. _But… even though I think that, I still don't have the courage to go back. To apologize. But what if that's not right? What if going back was just me being a coward, me accepting some kind of defeat…?_

Megumi tried to exhale, but, accidentally gulping a mouthful of water, she threw her head out of the water and coughed t it out, gagging.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Oh, come in, come in."

Megumi nervously peaked inside. Houjo sat cross-legged in the center of the room with the rest of the Virgo dormitory squad squabbling around her.

"Um, are you sure it was alright to lend me this…?" Megumi gestured vaguely at the cheongsam. She awkwardly hugged herself, the smooth fabric shimmying and shimmering around her. The holly-red dress, with its delicate gold peonies, felt far too expensive to wear casually.

"No, no, it's fine. You look good," Houjo added, rather hastily. Before Megumi could answer, Houjo patted an empty space on the wooden floor beside her. "Now, sit down." Megumi obeyed.

"Oh, Megumi..." Megumi spotted Nikumi sitting across from her.

"Oh, Nikumi-san!" but Nikumi moved her gaze to the ground. She fidgeted, pulling at a strand of her hair and curling it between her fingers. "Uh…" she mumbled. Megumi felt a twinge of doubt, and drew back. _Nikumi-san?_

"Now then. Shall we start?" Houjo called, and the rest of the room quieted down. Once everyone had seated themselves in a (ragged) circle of around ten, Houjo cleared her throat. She held out a hand towards Megumi beside her.

"Everyone, I am sure you are all aware of who this person is, but for formality: this is Megumi Tadokoro. She will be staying with us."

"' _Will_ '?" Houjo turned towards the voice. _Oh_ , Megumi thought. Takumi was giving Houjo a guarded look as he narrowed his eyes. "I'm not sure when we ever decided this, nor when you were ever made the dorm dean, Houjo."

Sound drained from the room, leaving only sparking tension. Megumi flinched as Takumi slid his eyes towards her. He gave another thorough look-over before his mouth twisted in disgust and he looked away.

Megumi felt flames burn her ears and neck. She heard his thoughts, even if not a word was wasted on her. _How could've Souma have lost to this loser? and not to mention a back-stabbing friend._

 _I don't know, I don't know either!_ she yelled inside. _I never thought I would even win…_

"Well, I… I think we should let her stay!"

Heads turned to the edge of the circle. It took Megumi a second, but then she realized who the short-haired, glasses girl was. _This is the girl who's in Marui's research group, I think._ The girl, Enomoto Madoka, wrung the edges of her shirt nervously, eyes twitching left and right.

"Explain," Houjo ordered, and if Enomoto could've shrunken herself smaller, Megumi was sure that she would've then. But Enomoto managed to mumble, "U-um, I just… I-I think she needs to stay away from the wind and night. At least, f-for now." She cautiously looked up, and relief flooded her expression as Houjo nodded in approval.

"Any other opinions?"

"I still don't see why we need to care for her," Takumi snapped."She hasn't done anything except screw over our entire student body and government, and bring shame to all of Tootsuki by doing that Shokugeki against our best cook and-" He sucked in a breath to continue, but at that point, Isami nudged him and whispered into his ear. Takumi paused. Isami continued to whisper away and for a great deal, until at last Takumi slumped down and clamped shut his mouth sullenly.

"... So, your opinion?"

Isami piped in, "He's alright with it. Not happy, but he'll live. He has some spec of a human soul in him yet." Isami gave Megumi a sympathetic look, and Megumi felt a flood of gratefulness. Houjo gave one last look at Takumi before clapping her hands. "Then, if there are no other opposing voices on this matter, it shall be settled that Tadokoro Megumi will stay here at the Virgo Dormitory until further notice."

The others nodded solemnly before rising to leave. Megumi felt a rush of relief, and her shoulders loosened. In a minute, only a few people were left.

"Well…" Houjo glanced at Megumi. "You will stay with me in this room; I have an extra sleeping bag-"

"Woah, just a minute here." Megumi turned towards the new voice. She blinked. She hadn't noticed before but Urara was crossing her arms and jutting her chin. "I am _not_ leaving without some juicy piece of gossip. The only reason I didn't object to having another useless idiot in this dorm is for this." She turned eagerly towards Megumi. "And you are going to talk to me all about that Shokugeki, your relationship with Souma, and I am going to squeeze every bit of drama from you."

"I-I-I, the Shokugeki, I don't-"

"Then why did you?!"

Megumi flinched as Nikumi and Takumi shoved aside Urara and gripped her shoulders. Their fierce gazes was dizzying so close. From the corner of her eye, Megumi caught Houjo looking away. Cold realization dumped on her.

 _I guess why she was being so weirdly nice was because she wanted to know, not to help me…_ Bitterness welled in Megumi's chest. _And Nikumi-san and Takumi-san must be furious at me... But I guess I reap what I sow..._

So caught up in her thoughts, Megumi didn't realize at first that Nikumi and Takumi had let go of her. She only noticed when Nikumi roared, "COME AT ME YOU MI FA CAGARE!" Takumi gave her a both shocked and heavily offended look. "That phrase doesn't even make any sense-" "YOUR FOOD CAUSES INDIGESTION." " _What did you say?!_ " and the two burst out of the room, sprinting towards the kitchen. Isami dipped his head at the remaining three girls, and lumbered behind Takumi.

"...Well." Houjo summed up all of their opinions. Megumi felt her nervous adrenaline drain away into only pure exhaustion. She sat down on the edge of Houjo's bed, head bowed.

Urara peered at Megumi before sighing. She turned towards Houjo. "Hey, let me stay here in this room too tonight."

"What? Why."

"Because you're fucking oblivious that's what. And I want some info straight from the source."

Houjo glanced at Megumi dubiously but seeing her lack of response, she nodded.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"So. Talk."

"...huh?"

Megumi peered from inside her sleeping bag. Urara was practically breathing down on her, eyes sparkling.

"..."

Megumi shifted to stare at the ceiling. Houjo had dimmed the lights, and the room felt surreal, nothing white or black but just everything in between. _Is this what being color blind is like?_ Megumi mused.

Houjo was in her bed, and Megumi couldn't see her. Beside the occasional rustle, Houjo didn't make a sound. But Megumi knew she wasn't asleep. Megumi took a shaky gasp of air and clenched her hands.

"I… I feel like I don't know him anymore," she said softly, slowly. Megumi strained her ears, but she couldn't hear either of the two girls reply. _I… might as well continue..._

"Souma-kun and I were so close before. He always helped me whenever I… whenever I tripped. He helped me, even if it was just to pull me back onto my feet. I… we trusted each other…" Her voice trailed off.

"... But, then, what happened?" Urara asked plainly. "Friendships like that don't collapse in one year- no, one _semester_."

Megumi was quiet, and a long silence draped over the air. After only an eternity, Megumi finally whispered,  
"The person I knew is gone. And I was confirmed." She turned over and wriggled further into her sleeping bag, so she could neither see nor hear anymore.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Hey, I'm going to the Donburi club now; see you later after lunch."

Nikumi waved before heading briskly towards the classroom. The hallways were crowded with chattering students, most of them naive little first years. A faint smile lit Nikumi's expression as she remembered all of her first year drama. _What, there was the whole thing about Yukihira-kun's hometown and then, of course, that Shokugeki where we made Donburi…_

 _Yukihira-kun… Will I ever see you after you leave?_

Before she knew it, she was in front of the D.B. room. Nikumi slid open the door, and a whole chorus of "Hello Sempai!" "Sempai, could you help me with this Donburi?" "Sempai, notice me!" "Sempai, when should the meat be taken out?" greeted her.

Her half-smile pulled into a full smile, even if it was small. _Belonging. This is what it must be like._ As Nikumi ordered the younger students around and pointed out some mistakes, she let her mind wander. _If I never met him, I would've never come here. I would've never done this. I would've never been a 'Sempai' like this. I would've never… never…_

"Sempai?"

"Hm?" Nikumi glanced up from her still hands, still clenching a cleaver in one and the other resting atop the flesh. The younger student pointed to the door. "Someone wants to see you."

"But, I'm in the middle of-"

"But Sempai, it's _Yukihira Souma_."

Nikumi felt her heart drop miles, yet blood roar right in her ears. She managed to mumble an "oh" as she took approximately two seconds to wash her hands and then sprint out the room.

He was standing outside, leaning against the wall. Cool as ever. Eyes far away like always, Nikumi thought.

"Yu-Yukihira-kun?" Nikumi stammered. Souma blinked and then turned around. _I'm so damn cliche_ , Nikumi groaned internally as her heart skipped, tripped, crashed and burned the moment those yellow eyes met hers.

"U-uh so...?" _Nicely connected sentence. Only a syllable away from primitive grunting,_ Nikumi thought to herself.

Souma inhaled deeply and then sighed. "So, I heard from Houjo that… Tadokoro… is sick?"

Nikumi didn't move. She felt her heart silently crumple. Again. _Why is it never me._

He paused, but then continued. "Well, that Houjo never really talks to me, but I thought it was kind of strange that she would purposefully go up to me to tell me that during AP Food Packaging. And really aggressively, if anything…" Souma raked the back of his hair with his fingers, and for a second, Nikumi saw hints of his muscles across his shirt. "Look, I don't want to not trust Houjo but… I'm just…" Souma helplessly dropped his hands and instead dug them into his pockets. He began to fidget.

Nikumi didn't know why she did it. Maybe she was just sick of it all. This oblivious idiot. That oblivious idiot. All the oblivious idiots. Maybe her heart was tired after three years of this charade, this let's-guess-what-he's-thinking-today game.

But the one she knew for sure was that she was dead true envious.

"She's with us. Living in the Virgo dorm. With Houjo. She's not sick. Skipping today. Houjo's lying, obviously."

Souma's eyes widened, and some shadow that had filmed over his eyes seemed to have cleared. _No, stop, don't look at me like that. I can't take it._ Nikumi spun around and opened the door. "Well, if that's all then I need to go back."

"Thanks Nikumi. And…" Nikumi glanced around. Souma had a sad smile. "This might be the last time I see you in a long time. So… thanks for everything. Really."

Nikumi watched him trudge away. Her heart was twisting itself into pretzels.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Wow, I hardly ever had free time before since this was the period when the Elite Ten met everyday…"

Souma wandered into an empty cooking classroom. School had yet to end, and there was still time to kill. _How long has it been since I've cooked something just because I wanted to?_ Souma thought. Before he was really conscious, his hands had already grabbed the supplies from the cabinet, and he was already going through the motions. Soon, it was completed.

"One Transforming Furikake Gohan… ready to be served. "

He stared at the steaming bowl of rice. The shimmering gels practically sparkled, and the rice was shining. A savorous fragrant of egg wafted into the air. Souma took a spoon, but then the door slid open before he could take a bite.

Souma raised his eyebrows. Tsukasa was standing by the doorway, arms crossed.

"May I try?"

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Now to add a bit of pepper…"

Megumi sipped some of the stew before she sprinkled some of the pepper. She returned to stirring for a bit before she shut the lid. The alarm clock was set for ten minutes before she sat down on a stool.

 _I hope the people in this dorm like cream stew_ , Megumi thought, glancing towards the stove. _I mean, it's pretty standard but I don't want to waste any food they might use specifically..._

A heavy scent of cream wafted throughout the kitchen. Megumi breathed it in deeply and then exhaled. "It smells just like your stew, Mom," Megumi whispered, a small smile lighting her face slightly. _She always did say stew was good for autumn and winter, how it keeps you warm inside even if you're cold outside._

 _Mom…_ Megumi carefully took out the charm in her pocket. She let her finger trace the words "Health, Safety, and Education". Her eyes softened. "I miss you Mom…" She held onto the charm for a second longer, before gently placing it back into her pocket again.

Megumi gazed at the stew. Steam was beginning to leave. For the first time in the last two days, she felt calm. _If I don't straighten all of this out, then how can my cooking be truly honest? I won't be able to face Mom or everyone back home._

 _I know what I have to do, the truth I have to tell Souma. I can't hide behind my fears anymore. I'm sorry it took so long._

* * *

A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaah, I'm so sorry this update is so friggin' late! Truth be told, since the last time I've updated and now, I've been in a really bad place mentally, but now I feel a bit better and here it is! The new chapter! Another introduction to more confusion I guess, huhu… Or maybe there's going to be a big reveal soon? *wink wink* *I'd feel really bad if I disappoint anyone though, so don't expect it to be anything too dramatic though* So, I tried to make this chapter a bit longer than usual since it took me more than a bit longer than usual to update the story. Also, yaaaaas for Nikumi anyone? I adore her so much. 3 Anyway, Hope this chapter was enjoyable, and look forward to seeing y'all in the next chapter. :) Reviews are below:

Kaleidoscopic Dragon: I'm really sorry, I'll try to be less cryptic. Really?! Thank you so much! Haha, thanks for reading.

WayFarer2000: I'm sorry…

DemonDamian: Okay… Yes, I've seen some websites where the readers are the ones to actually ask the questions, but I never really understood the difference between the author and the reader asking the question? Thanks for reading. :)

Blue-Daylight: Awww, thanks! I really like Houjo too; she's a really complicated character, haha.

blazedflame: I'm sorry…

Athrun-chan: Yaaaaas, SouMegu unite! Thanks for reading!

Guest: Sure bro~

Guest: (the other one I guess) I really like that pairing too!

King of Heroes Gilgamesh: Thank you for taking the time to read and review my fic though! Yeah, it's quite unrealistic in canon.

Jonny walker: Thanks! Yeah, I was looking at my outline and cut out a ton of sections since it was too wayward.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Helloooooo, I am back; rest of the A/N and review comments at the bottom. And I am so, so, so sorry that this is basically a whole year later. Auuugh I'm sorry. But more on that later. Also, warning for 2 curse words.

Souma narrowed his eyes. "Go ahead," he said neutrally, and stepped back. Tsukasa clicked the door shut behind him and walked forward. Souma felt the hair on the back of his neck rise, the familiar shiver of intimidation rushing through him. His hands were clammy.

 _No, but does it really matter at this point? What this guy thinks?_

"You seem upset," Tsukasa replied point-blank and he settled down in his seat.

"No kidding Sherlock."

"Never asked for it Watson. Anyway." Tsukasa held his spoon up and twirled it once.

Then he threw it on the floor.

Souma stared, between the spoon, the rice bowl, and Tsukasa, before he finally sputtered a "What."

Tsukasa flicked his eyes towards Souma. "You're really oblivious aren't you," he mused. "As if I could eat this when I can even smell the deadness of it."

"Souma, think: when was the last time you actually made something other than the same, exact recipe."

Souma froze. His throat dried like he had drunk straight seawater.

"Allow me to answer that for you." Tsukasa stood. He glided around the counter and towards Souma, until the two were nose to nose. Their eyes locked.

"Never," he breathed.

Adrenaline flowed through Souma, and his fists shook furiously. "And what do you think you would know?" he began, struggling to keep his voice even. "I defeated you from first chair. You're not one to talk."

The foggy gray eyes narrowed. "Those who hide behind their titles lose those titles first," Tsukasa replied softly. He straightened his back, whipped around, and walked away, leaving Souma speechless.

The feet stopped before the door. Without turning, Tsukasa said, "At least that girl's cooking was edible. And she should be cooking right now, in the Virgo dorm. Maybe she's cooking in her guilt? Or maybe not." He paused before adding, "What will you do, Yukihira Souma? Do you know what you've done wrong?"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

 _"Now, you understand: this is all for the education of my daughter."_

 _Hisako gulped. "Of… Of course. Anything for Erina-sa-"_

 _The flat of his hand slapped across her face. "Don't you_ dare _say her name, you filthy cur," the headmaster snarled. Hisako held her cheek, her fingers cold and her legs quivering. She wordless nodded, unable to make out words._

 _"Good… " A gelid smile freezed across the headmaster's mouth. It was handsome, in the way a switchblade was. "And I'm sure you are well aware of the consequences?"_

 _Hisako blinked rapidly and raised her head questioningly. The headmaster shook his head and sighed. "Of course, what did I expect from an Arato?" Hisako bit her lips as anger and fear churned within her. "You don't even know how bad you are at cooking. No wonder. What a good decision I made to hold this judging."_

Wait… Wait, what- _"Sir, what is the meaning of this then?!" Hisako cried, her words finally freed. "You want me to- But, then what is Yukihira Souma- How is this for, for the young miss' sake?! I, you're setting me up to lose!"_

 _"No, my dear Hisako," the headmaster whispered. "_ You _set yourself up to lose."_

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Sweat ran down Souma's face. "I have to- Virgo dorm- now." _I… don't know, Tsukasa. I don't know why my cooking is what it is. But I do know… that I have to speak to Megumi._ His feet slapped the ground as he raced through the forest, the shadows growing longer as the sun fell further.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Rindo Kobayashi was never the type to pass up teasing.

"I didn't know you were into yaoi, Tsukasa," she snickered.

"Awww, don't be like that Rindo," he groaned. He stretched his arms up. "You know I'm more into lolis than anything."

"Yeah, yeah." She leaned against the hallway wall, a playful grin dancing on her lips. "And? Since when were you the nice guy? Helping out Yukihira Souma like that. And liking lolis isn't fooling me."

Tsukasa smiled with the purity of those who never lie. Or at least who believe they never do. "I've always been a nice guy."

"Talk you bum."

Tsukasa sighed. "It's just so irritating that there's someone so idiotic out there. Like, how many times do you need to be hit by a frying pan before you'll learn? I still can't believe he has actually fooled the judges for this long. Good thing Mr. Chapelle, who actually knows things, was there at least. And some more competent folks who see beyond 'Elite Ten' labels."

This time Rindo groaned. "Oh please, don't give me that crap of 'bringing your heart into your cooking' BS that Mr. Chapelle believes in, Tsukasa. We joined the new headmaster for a reason."

"Of course not. Cooking for the joy of cooking is taking cooking as some kind of game. And Rindo, you better watch yourself." Tsukasa turned towards her, his eyes dead blank. "He _is_ the headmaster."

Megumi beamed for the first time in days when the whole Virgo dormitory approved (even if it was grudgingly) her cream soup for dinner. She was humming some small tune while washing the dishes when Madoko offered to wash them. The two ended up chatting and washing the dishes together. Megumi's heart hadn't felt so light for a long time.

She excused herself to Houjo's room, tired but happy. _I feel a bit bad for having skipped but… after resolving to myself, I feel a lot better._ Nervous tension trickled into her, but she shook it off. _I'm going to do this…! And it'll at least be the truth-_

"No, go away you stalker!"

Megumi blinked. _Stalker?!_ She rushed to the window, but the trees hid who was talking to whom.

"She doesn't want to see you; you hurt her, and I won't forgive that!"

"Wha- I don't know, but I have to talk to her! Let me see her!"

The main door slammed open.

"You can't stop me!"

"A-a-as her friend, I won't let you! Stand back-"

"No-"

Crash! Megumi jumped as Houjo's door swung open and Houjo and Souma stood, panting, before her.

Houjo gritted her teeth. "Fuck off," she spat at the red-head.

Out of instinct, Megumi slammed the door back shut. Souma's eyes snapped open in shock. Houjo turned to him, eyes smug. "See? What did I tell you. The girl doesn't even want to see you. I don't know why she did that Shokugeki against you, but I know… that she wouldn't have done that without a damn good reason."

"No…" Souma began, but Houjo's eyes hardened.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Dorm-"

Creak. The two whirled around. Megumi stood before them, in plain sight. She stared at her bare feet before mumbling, "I want to talk to Souma-kun."

A/N: Oh geez, I am so, SO, sorry for being almost hilariously late. Like, what, I think I promised to write something last winter? But I didn't? At all? Like… oh my gosh, I am really sorry. Also, this chapter is short, but I felt like it should end here (the chapter). The next chapter will prob be a lot longer.

Sorry… I've just been bouncing around so many fandoms and stuff. I'm really sorry, again. I won't be able to promise fast updates, but the updates will happen.

I'm so sorry, I have no idea where I last thanked my reviews but to everyone who did: YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE AND I LOVE YOU ALL. I hope the ending comes around soon (for all of our sakes, haha) and that it'll be an enjoyable ride. :) Until next time!


	6. Chapter 6

Warning: quite dialogue heavy. And then a pretty long flashback (1/3). And jumps happen (but I'll try to be clear).

* * *

"Wha… " Houjo leaned forward and laid a hand on Megumi's shoulder. Her eyes scrunched with concern. "You don't have to… do this?"

Megumi looked up in surprise. Houjo unusually averted her eyes. "It's true that I wanted to know about the Shokugeki… But more than that-" She looked up again, her eyes clear indigo. "-I vowed to help you as a _friend_. And I will protect you." Her eyes slid towards Souma.

He twitched a finger, but otherwise didn't move.

"No… Thank you Houjo-san, I'm really grateful for all that you have done for me. But, please let me talk to Souma-kun. Alone." Megumi raised her eyes as well to look square at the boy. "This needs to be said."

Houjo took one look at Megumi before nodding silently. She gave one more growl at Souma before stalking out. Souma shut the door firmly behind him.

Megumi felt a sigh rattle out of her mouth. Souma crossed his arms, with a carefully closed expression. _What… what do I say, what do I say, where do I start…Oh geez, Megumi, you need to apologize like heck but where, what-_ Thoughts began to pile in her mind too fast like a bloated compost pile.

"... So. Why did you leave the Polar Star Dorm for here?" Souma said at last. Megumi snapped out of her thoughts. "Yuki and Ryoko and everyone's worried."

"I-I didn't want to see you," Megumi mumbled. Souma winced. _Then her never wanting to see me again wasn't a joke… or anything._ He glared at the ground and his hands curled into fists. _God, what am I doing here, this was a waste of time-_

"I-I-I was scared tha-that you would be angry! I know, that's what's expected, that's what has to happened, that I deserve it, but I still didn't want to go through that-!" Megumi blurted. She hung her head. "It's so cowardly, I know, I tried to appear so terrible and I should never have backstabbed you and that you _should_ be angry! Of course anyone would hate a friend who betrayed them, basically blackmailed them…"

"I'm sorry Souma. I'm sorry, and I know that can never be enough, but I'm sorry I asked you for a Shokugeki… I'm sorry I-" She managed to choke out, "made you leave the school. For my selfishness that caused this mess..."

Souma stared at her, topaz eyes wide. Megumi took in another shaky breath. "I need to tell you everything that happened two days ago. Now."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hey Megumi!" Megumi straightened and brushed off her apron. Souma waved at her, an easy grin on his face.

"Good morning, Souma-kun," she replied warmly. She took off her gardening gloves and shielded her eyes. "It's hot again today, huh?" She laughed. The summer sun blazed down from dawn to dusk, and she loved it. _It'll be autumn soon, and I won't be able to enjoy it then._

Souma grinned back.

"Yup. See you around!" Souma raised a hand in the air as he walked down the forest trail, away from the school and the dorm.

"Yeah…" Megumi waved back as he disappeared beneath the trees. _I… I wished he stayed a bit longer…_ A sharp pang echoed in her chest.

"Again today, huh?"

Megumi whirled around to see Yuki, holding a chicken in her arms. She squinted her eyes towards him.

"Wh-what do you mean, Yuki?"

"I _mean_ , he's going all the way into the town where he used to live, to the market where he used to buy things, that's what." Yuki harrumphed. "What's the point of even doing that? I swear, he hasn't used anything from the garden since, like, twenty years ago!"

 _Oh, I, of course, gosh Yuki can't read my mind._ Megumi laughed again, good-naturedly. "Maybe he needs specific supplies? He's first chair, maybe-"

"Gaaaah, I'm so done with hearing about the elite ten," Yuki interrupted crossly. She rolled her eyes before stomping away.

 _Ah…_ Megumi held out an empty hand towards her friend, before dropping it. _Hmm… it is true that I haven't seen Souma-kun at all at the gardens here or even the kitchens at school… I wonder why?_

"Hey, you."

Megumi jumped maybe ten feet before she saw who it was. "O-oh, Kurokiba-kun, wha-"

"Food! Now," he grunted, and Megumi saw the bright red bandanna strapped across his head. _Oh… Ooooh boy._

She clapped her hands. "U-uh, sure! But first, I-I-I need to bring in some of those dried vegetables there…" she pointed at the overflowing basket.

Kurokiba snatched the entire thing and hauled it onto his shoulder. He glared down at her. "Now."

"O-okay," she squeaked.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Kurokiba dropped the basket onto the counter. The vegetables jostled.

"Okay. Now cook, Tadakoro Megumi," he ordered. He landed on the seat heavily and gave her a baleful eye.

"... Now wait a second." Megumi turned towards Kurokiba with a look of her own. "I'm grateful that you bought in the vegetables but first, what do you want me to cook? And second, why?"

"Just. Do it," he hissed.

Megumi sighed. _Okay then…._ She took a look at the basket. _Hmm, I haven't made that since I was a first year… I've been wanting to for a while; let's do that._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

As Megumi explained her story to Souma, Takumi and Nikumi had smushed themselves to the door outside.

"Oi, you stupid Italian prick, stop leaning on me!" Nikumi snarled (quietly).

"Same with you, vulgar meat cook!" Takumi snapped back (quietly).

Houjo watched them with a tired look before turning to Isami. "How do you even deal with these two?"

"I don't," he replied cheerily.

 _Thus noted_ , thought Houjo warily.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"... and I'm done! One Rainbow Terrine!"

She set down her dish with a smile. _It really has been a while!_ … _To think I was almost expelled that long ago too…_ Megumi glanced out the window into the forest. _Another reason to be thankful towards Souma-kun,_ she thought fondly.

Kurokiba looked at it with faint disgust. "... Too happy-looking," was all he muttered though before he sank the fork into it.

"I, uh, you never told me what to make so that's just what I did." But Megumi received no reply as Kurokiba dug into the dish.

 _I guess… he likes it?_

"... mfghuble." he mumbled around his words.

"... Sorry?"

"... Too, Good." He swallowed down the last of the dish and stood. He placed his plate into the sink.

 _What a strange day._ "Um, thank you?" Megumi added as per etiquette, "Oh, and have a nice da-"

"Oi, don't get rid of your customer so quickly." Kurokiba turned towards her with a devilish grin. Megumi felt uneasiness painted right on her face. Kurokiba's smile widened.

"Sit," he ordered. She obliged in confusion. "Now, I'm gonna cook."

Megumi watched as he wrenched out a frying pan and slammed open the refrigerator. She looked on dubiously as a nasty grin became nastier as he shuffled through the stuff inside. _Marui and Ryoko are going to be angry…_ she thought gloomily.

Megumi's mind wandered back to the garden and Souma. _I do wonder why he's going to the markets… Maybe homesickness? I mean, maybe if it were me I would also find most of my supplies in the local market… Around now, it should be the best season for shrimps and sea urchins… Also the lavender fields! And watermelons!_ The mouth-watering, sweeter than nectar taste of watermelon made Megumi smile dreamily. _I want for everyone to taste them… Maybe it could be helpful too? Maybe Souma-kun will like them._

 _Souma-kun…_ Eyes like a jar of burnt gold honey, usually sparkling mischievously as though they were sharing a secret that no one could ever know about. As though there was no one else in the world. _They're such beautiful eyes…_ Megumi started as she felt her heart beating just a bit faster.

 _No, I mean, he's just a friend-_

"Oi, I'm done!" Megumi jumped again as a plate flew down and clattered in front of her. Megumi took a double-take.

"This…! This is the curry you made with the lobster and cognac! During the Autumn Elections…"

"Eat. It."

Helpless, Megumi spooned in several mouthfuls. _Aaaah, it tastes good…_ Lobster flooded into her mouth and the thick curry sauce coated her tongue. She set down her spoon and took a glass of water.

"It tastes quite good. Although not something I would eat in the morning…"

Kurokiba gave her an intense look. Megumi blinked. _Alright, one more then._ She took a final bite, this time from inside the lobster itself.

 _… Oh!_ She turned towards him, eyes wide. He grinned and nodded. Kurokiba began strutting around the kitchen. "I knew it. I knew it, I knew it, I _knew_ it."

Megumi put down her spoon. "I didn't know you used… um, what's it called…"

"Kari Gosse. From Britton of France. I used that to season my lobster this time, instead. But that isn't the point." Kurokiba slammed down his hands onto the counter. He stared at Megumi. "The _point_ is that we're different. We've changed."

"Wha-what do you mean?"

He jabbed a finger at the sink. "That Rainbow Terrine. I, no everyone in the school, knows you made that at the training camp two years ago! From dried vegetables and whatever. But it's different isn't it? It's not the exact same one as the one from two years ago!"

"Of, of course not! I tried adding some sweeter vege-"

Kurokiba waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah. But this is it: have you eaten Souma's food recently?"

Megumi snapped her eyes towards Kurokiba. "... Where are you going with this."

"I'm saying that his food is the _exact same_ as it was for the past two years. He's made nothing new."

"N-no, that, he's done so many Shokugekis this year and all of the foods there were different! You saw them Kurokiba!"

Kurokiba shook his head. "I talked to that gangster guy, Mimasaka; it's true. He's seen all of those foods before, either from school or before when Souma worked at his restaurant."

 _Then going to the market…_ "B-but-" Megumi began.

"No." Kurokiba screwed his eyes towards her. "He's not… creative anymore. He's reached a high level but he's just staying there, not going for more or better."

"... And on that note, I've been wondering for a long time but, why are you still following this loser?"

"What?" Megumi jumped out of her chair. "Souma-kun is not a loser! He's the best cook in the school, e-even if he's not doing so well right now! It's like writer's block but for cooks, it happens to everyone." She returned Kurokiba's haughty look with an icy glare. "Don't you dare say anything bad about him."

Kurokiba snorted. He yanked out the bandanna in his hair and tousled his mane for a second. He turned limpid eyes at her. "You do realize that Souma sees absolutely nothing in you, y'know."

Megumi froze.

"At the start, maybe. But he thinks that you're still that horrible, that you're still some lesser cook from who-knows-where. That you're not worth his competition, like Erina or the other Polar Star people." He twirled around his bandanna aimlessly.

"No, that's… not true. Souma-kun he, he-" Megumi caught sight of the sink. "He saved from being expelled! He took up a Shokugeki with Shinomiya so I wouldn't-"

"So?" Kurokiba cut in. "How do you know that that wasn't just for that? A Shokugeki with a former elite ten? That's not an opportunity that comes by… ever, actually. Even less than a current elite ten."

"I-I-I see Souma-kun as my friend-"

"Again." Kurokiba sighed. "You're nothing but a useful stepping stone for him. After all, he's first chair; what is a nobody to him? Someone talented but won't even rise up. A safety."

Megumi shook her head before asking quietly, "Why do you care, Kurokiba-kun? What does any of this have anything to you?"

He shrugged and traipsed towards the door. "I don't. It's just annoying to watch all this. You could've been something, you could've been one of the best students in the school, but you let yourself be nothing because he treats you like nothing and you've accepted that. Nothing more. Thanks for the food."

The door abruptly swung shut.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Oh. My. God," whispered Nikumi, before Takumi ribbed her.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Megumi slumped onto her chair again, eyes lackluster.

"No… he, he _does_ see me as a friend! I can't doubt him like this…" _But really Megumi, why should he?_ a smiling voice cooed. _You really are a nothing even three years later, and maybe that's all because of Souma-kun._

"No, Kurokiba-kun approved of me-"

 _And what of it? You're still nowhere, with zero acknowledgement from anyone. Always, always, never good enough. And now you're going to graduate soon and you'll leave with nothing to show for it._

 _Also, Souma-kun won't acknowledge you. He'll never even see you. You'll live and die as a memory. A stepping stone. You need to do something-_

"No! I won't. I… I… " Megumi clenched her hands. She stared at the counter, the remains of the red lobster blurring into a crimson glaze. The tears burned like Saharan sand. "I won't. I'll believe in Souma-kun, no matter how he sees me. I know that he's kind at heart, I know it…!"

Megumi sighed and shook her head again. She roughly wiped away the tears. "I… I need to take a walk. I'm going to take a walk to school. I hope the library's open on Saturdays." She swallowed the last of the knot in her throat, stuffed away the gardening equipment in the closet, and set out.

 _Ahhh, the breeze feels nice…_ she thought hazily as she trotted down the woodland path and onto the side of the road.

Little did she know of a jet-black BMW that began to follow her.

* * *

A/N: I wrote another chapter since the last one felt too short. 'Tis only the beginning of the revelation, hehe. Also, sorry for the extensive dialogue… if that was annoying. Anyway, hope you guys liked it. See ya soon~

antoniopb: I'm sorry for being confusing for so long. I do hope to finish it soon. Thanks!

mehr03: Thank you! I hope this chapter was good too.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I am SO sorry this has not been updated for centuries. Also general warning it gets v cheesy at the end.

* * *

As the afternoon sun began its descent, Megumi noted cheerily the auburn leaves crunching beneath her feet. _Ah, I love autumn; it's like everything is draped in honey gold…_

Her eyes rested on the stairs in front of the library and she was just about to go up when-

"-leave! Yukihira-kun, I demand that you leave Totsuki Academy at once!"

 _What?!_

Megumi stared, eyes wide in the direction of the yelling, and before she could even comprehend it consciously, she was in the thick bushes besides the stairs. Gingerly, her fingers pried apart enough branches to see.

In the small corner, Souma and Erina stood glaring at each other. Souma crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall while Erina stood with her hands on her hips.

"And if you don't-" Erina stuck out a solid finger, pointing it squarely at the boy. "I assure you, Yukihira Souma, that the Nakiri family will completely and utterly, destroy any of your hopes and dreams of opening a restaurant. Japan and abroad. Do. You. Understand."

Souma's mouth dropped slightly.

"Understand, Yukihira-kun," Erina continued. "That leaving Totsuki _right now_ is completely beneficial to you and staying will only wreck havoc. You're already First Chair; leave with grace and the good impressions of the whole student body, faculty, and of course, the Nakiri family…

She went on, but by now Megumi was shell-shocked. Her body felt numb. _Why? What? But, why is- what? I can't, how? Wh-_

So deep in thought, that she didn't take account of her situation. The menacing shadow looming behind, growing closer and closer, a hunter approaching a hare, closer and closer, silent.

Silent.

"Mppmf!"

Fear shot through Megumi, more than she had ever felt before in her life, before darkness dropped.

o0o0o0o

When Megumi opened her eyes blearily, she could only stare at the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling in blank puzzlement. She hazily pulled herself up into a sitting position on the worn, black sofa beneath until she remembered with a flash what had happened.

"Oh my god, oh my god-"

Megumi leapt to her feet, throat dry and heart pumping, eyes darting. The room was small and had no windows, only some broken shelves and a feeble table in the center. A single, metal door was beyond.

Her feet skid on the linoleum flooring as she rushed towards the door when Erina opened it.

"Wah!"

"Aah!"

Crash!

The glass cup in Erina's hand slipped and shattered on the ground. Water spilled down and puddled between them.

"O-oh, I'm so sorry!" Megumi blurted out of habit, and she hastily bent down.

"N-no, please, it's fine." Erina took Megumi's hands, to which Megumi flinched. Erina hastily dropped them.

"S-sorry, I- Sorry." She looked downward, uncharacteristically. Megumi took a step back, wary. "Sh… shall we, uh, take a seat?" She gestured the sofa, to which Megumi stood her ground. A little discouraged, Erina nodded awkwardly. "That's fine. Too. Yes, we can stand."

"So." Erina cleared her throat. "Um so, about… _this_." She waved her hands around the room. "Well, first, I just want you to know, I'm not about to hurt you. We're currently in the library basement in one of the old lounges; it's a bit dilapidated, I know," she added at Megumi's look of faint disbelief.

"I hadn't… meant for my guards to have attacked you so roughly. I didn't… well, let's just say you weren't one of the people I was expecting to… eavesdrop. Earlier."

"What did you mean earlier?" Megumi finally asked her voice returning. "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop on your conversation with Souma-kun but… He's my friend…" She hadn't meant for her words to trail off so weakly like that though, and Erina seemed to be expecting her to say more but jolted when she realized that that was it.

"That, well… " Erina pursed her lips, a bit of pretentiousness coming back into her eyes.

 _No… I have to know. I have to,_ Megumi thought, her mind racing as she watched Erina's expression close. _What if Souma-kun's in danger? That sounded like blackmail for sure, earlier._ "Erina-san, you have an obligation to tell me after what you put me through," Megumi said, her voice becoming stronger. "I _demand_ to know right now."

Erina blinked, eyes wide at Megumi's own, steely look. "I, well… " She looked away again. "I'm sorry Tadokoro-san, for what I did, I really am. But… the only thing I can tell you is that I must have Yukihira-kun expelled from the school immediately. I, if I don't, if… if he… if he stays… "

Megumi gasped as Erina's shoulders began to shake. But then she shook her head and roughly wiped her eyes. "Sorry," she muttered.

"... but wouldn't you be able to defeat Souma-kun himself in a Shokugeki, Nakiri-san?" Megumi pushed, pushing down the guilt building in her chest. "If you needed to get him to leave, you could just-"

"I can't!" Erina suddenly threw her hands up in fury and Megumi flinched back. "I can't, don't you see?! He's too good, augh it makes me _furious_ , but I can't solve this! I can't solve this with my cooking, we're too close in skill for a Shokugeki to work I can't solve with my cooking, I can't help, I can't save, I can't _do it_ , only like this will-!" And with that, Erina burst out sobbing, sinking to the floor.

"Wha- Nakiri-san? Nakiri-san! Uh, um-" _Oh no, this isn't like her at all?!_ Megumi frantically knelt down beside her, careful of the glass, as she wiped Erina's tears. She pulled the shaking girl into her arms and continued wiping the tears. _What is_ happening _, I can't even-_

"... That's it! _That's it!_ " Megumi jumped as Erina suddenly grabbed onto her, eyes shining. "You! You can do it; you can defeat Yukihira in the Shokugeki!"

Megumie stared at Erina, until the words finally hit her.

" _What?!_ " she yelled, her heart dropping miles. " _Me?!_ Defeat _Souma?!_ Never- also why would I ever want Souma to leave Totsuki?! _Expel Souma?_ "

But Erina was already nodding, thoughts zipping miles per hour. "Yes, it'll be perfect, it can work! Yes, yes, _yes_ , this is the answer, it could-! Then, it'll work!"

"Nakiri-san. Nakiri-san!" Megumi had to shake Erina's shoulders before the girl finally turned to look at her, with an already bemused expression.

Megumi inhaled deeply before sighing. "Nakiri-san. You have to understand; I will _never_ do anything to make Souma-kun get expelled. Not to mention, I will also _never_ win in any sort of cooking competition against Souma-kun-"

"Tadokoro-san!" Erina grabbed onto her hands, clenching them. She stared deep into Megumi's own eyes, boring into them. "Tadokoro-san, you are and have already proven yourself, to be one of the top chefs at Totsuki. You are destined for _greatness_ ; sure, in the beginning you were just some random country bumpkin but now? Three years later?"

Erina's eyes slanted into slits sharper than diamonds. "Don't let your talent be overshadowed by that Yukihira Souma; you are so much more capable than you believe yourself to be. And who knows? Maybe he keeps you around to boost his ego and so he needs you to be a 'lesser' chef. Lesser competition."

Megumi's hands fell slack. _Like what Kurokiba-kun said…_ she thought absently, and felt her heart sink lower and lower.

 _Is that all I am? Who am I in this story, am I just… Just…_

"And you know, you said that you wanted Souma to stay in Totsuki for his sake right?" Megumi snapped back to focus again on Erina. "Well, let me tell you something important. To… repay my rudeness earlier." Erina made a beckoning motion and Megumi leaned in closer. A glass shard slit into her knee, and Megumi absently noted a warm trickle rolling down her leg, the only sensation.

Erina then whispered, with a sweet breath that tickled Megumi's ears: "Everyday he stays at Totsuki, Yukihira-kun becomes a worse cook."

… _it. That's it. I can't take this anymore._

Megumi stood up, her handkerchief falling listlessly from her lap. "You said we were in the library basement?"

"Tadokoro-"

Megumi turned to face Erina with a vacantly polite smile. "Thank you, Nakiri-san," she said kindly.

 _What am I thanking her for?_

"I'll be on my way back now."

"Tadokoro-"

 _Just… a mirror? A toy? A chess pawn? Am I just somebody who keeps getting used, over and over again, and only by different players?_

"Goodbye."

"Wai-"

 _Why don't I have anything? Why is there nothing inside of me, why is my entire existence defined by all of these_ characters _-_

"Tadokoro-san!"

Megumi closed the door behind her.

o0o0o0o

The room was numb. Souma could only stare at the figure before him, the shadows hiding her face other than downcast eyes.

And even in there, shadows.

"And so I went back to the dorm. I was plagued; there was so much. I guess I… just hadn't thought of those things that much either so it felt. It felt like… I didn't't know who I was. I didn't know what to do, and… I lost. I lost my cooking, my roots, my trust in others, I lost it all… to this." Megumi opened her arms and drew her hands around the austere room. Souma blinked in confusion.

"I lost it all to emptiness, Souma-kun," Megumi replied softly, looking at him with an expression that made his heart begin to ache. "I let it win and I let it hurt you and Yuki and everyone at Polar Star Dorm. I used what Nakiri-san and Kurokiba-kun say as an excuse to fight you in the Shokugeki; in reality? I… I… "

Megumi swallowed hard, tears itching the edges of her eyes.

"I wanted to have something of my own. And I thought that by defeating you, I… I could _be someone._ Not

just the pretty girl who follows some amazing chef but… someone."

"Tadokoro-"

Souma reached out but Megumi shook her head and he let his hand drop.

"But I've realized, Souma-kun; it's not worth it. It's not possible; I can't be 'someone' by doing that you know? Or at least not 'someone' I would want to be, at least… " Megumi's head drooped low.

"I am so, so sorry, Souma-kun. For hurting you like this, betraying you, and just… so much. I am so sorry, even though words can never-"

"Pfft."

Megumi blinked and looked up to see Souma clenching his fist in his mouth.

"Bwahahahaha!" he finally exploded laughing. Megumi flinched, eyes wide, as Souma bent over, holding his stomach while heaving in laughter, shaking all over like he had tics.

Megumi held out a hand hesitantly. "Ah, uh… S-Souma… kun? Are, you… alright?"

He tried to answer but another bout bowled him right over for another whole moment until he could at last speak.

Souma breathed in and out, the final fits shaking away as he sat cross legged on the ground. He looked up at Megumi with the clearest, brightest eyes she had seen in a long time, and smiled wide. Megumi felt her heart skip and she suddenly saw him as when they were first first years: rash, scary, loud… brave. Selfless.

Real.

 _Oh…_

 _Oh no, I-_

"Tadokoro!" Megumi stiffened, as she stared back at Souma. He stood up, brushed his pants, and stepped forward a step. And then another. And then-

Megumi blinked as his arms pulled her into a tight embrace. She sucked in a breath as she felt a heartbeat not her own, and the warmth blanketing her. She felt her face heating up and her cheeks begin to burn a furnace.

"I'm so, so, so glad," Souma said quietly, murmuring right beside her ear. "I thought… I thought you hated me. Tadokoro, I thought…"

Megumi felt her throat clench. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so so-"

Souma pushed Megumi with his hands on her shoulders so he could look into her face. But she averted his gaze.

"Tadokoro… Tadokoro. Look up. Look up at me."

"I can't," she said in a raw voice. "I can't, I can't after all that I've done-"

"I'm sorry."

Shock struck through Megumi and inadvertently she looked up, locking eyes with him, her mouth dropping. Her mouth was already forming the word but he shook his head this time.

"Tadokoro, I… I never knew. I never caught on how you felt, even though I've been your friend for so long. I didn't know and didn't even consider your emotions, and I… there were even times when, this year, I tried to…" Souma took a deep breath and let it shudder out, but plowed on. "I … tried to replace everything, even people, even _friends_ , with cooking. So as a friend? That's not right. Because of me not caring, I forced you into a corner. Alone."

Megumi looked at him, unable to speak. _No, Souma-kun, it's not your fault-_

"I'm sure," and to this he gave her a bittersweet smile, one that nearly took her breath away, "because it's you, Tadokoro, you're probably thinking that no, that's not true, it's all _my_ fault. And to that I say… " Souma closed his eyes before inhaling deeply.

"BULL SHIIIIT!" he roared, yelling until his voice grew hoarse.

Megumi gripped her hands and stood, her teeth ground together as he yelled. A small shard of ice melted somewhere that she hadn't known was frozen, so dark and cold from the hatred she could never bring to the warmth of day. A gnawing numbness bred from the disgust she held for the one person she could ever demean for so long.

"Tadokoro Megumi!" Souma took another deep breath and stared intently into her eyes. She met his gaze, even while her hands were beginning to shake too hard.

"You are an amazing chef and friend, and I am so proud to know you. I sincerely apologize for not treating you better and I hope you know… "

He locked eyes with her. "You are _not_ a stepping stone to me. Nor a pawn or mirror or toy; you are someone I hold… really close. Um…" Souma looked away, and for the first time since she had known him, sheepish. "I don't… usually say cheesy things like this but… I-I'm. Really glad. To have met you. You've shown and reminded me of everything I lo- really like in cooking, and you've kept me real. A person. Not… some kind of cooking being."

"So that's why." He cleared his throat and met her eyes again. Still with an intensity, like staring directly into a fire, but this time… "I won't let anyone hurt you, whether it be someone else, me, or even… yourself. You deserve the best, you care for everyone and are so meaningful. So please, don't say you're empty anymore."

* * *

A/N: I am again, immensely sorry about how not updated this fic is. It's been super long, and I've literally changed as a person since I've last written to this. Hopefully the story is still making some kind of sense? I've forgotten a lot of it too myself so I had to reread it to make sure again lol (I mean, I do have an outline but I tend to deviate from that too like why me). Anyway, thank you so so much for keeping up with this story; I hope this has been a good holiday gift lol and I hope I can update soon again. I've been skirting this fic for a while, but I intend to finish it (who knows in how long; hopefully soon but no promises). Hope you all have been doing well, and see you again sometime. :)

~LavenderIceCream


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